Gratefulness...

I just can't get over how much God has done in my life over the past year. I look at where I was a year ago, and I am in utter awe and amazement at how FAR He has brought me. A year ago I was teaching preschool, living in Longmont, floating through life with few goals and dreams and little purpose. I was just content.
In January I began a new job with FRIENDS FIRST that introduced me to new life (for lack of a better description)! I began teaching a message I have always been passionate about. I was given some incredible coworkers to learn from and socialize with. I learned how much I didn't like to commute from Longmont to Littleton and back every day...especially in the snow, sleet, ice, and wind...
In the spring I began the search to move closer to Littleton. At the same time that was going on, I met someone named Ini who has changed my life completely. I began to fall in love...just in time for him to help Jenn and me move to Englewood! (Yea for helpful boyfriends!)
Now I am in an adorable little apartment, just 10 miles from the office. I am in a loving relationship that continues to prove true. I am part of a church that has expanded my mind-set and broadened my world view. I am seeing God's hand at work in giving me new life every single day.
I am no longer just content with life. I am on the way to being completely satisfied!

And what literally moves me to tears is this realization: even when I was not faithful, my God was and is and always will be!! That is a truth I pray that everyone I know can truly grasp and hold tight to! Amen.

Mission Statement

The following is a mission statement I wrote nine years ago. I found it in some things I was going through following my move. I guess what strikes me the most is that it is something that I still believe, still hold true, still hope to live by...

First, to be a woman of integrity, seeing what is right and wrong and always choosing the right.
To be a woman of honor, choosing to do what is right, not because I should but because I want to.
To greet each day with a curiousness and boldness to seek out the truth and know it.
To experience every moment with the newness of a child's love, the sweetness and joy of young love, and the respect and reverence of mature love.
To always wear a cheerful countenance and to greet everyone with a smile, because sometimes a smile is all someone needs to keep them going.
To be to peaceful for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too joyful to permit troubles.
Finally, to give all I have and am to educate, encourage, and lead children, peers, and daily contacts in the way that is acceptable and right.

Marriage: A Failed Institution?

Recently the actress Rashida Jones (The Office and Parks and Rec) released a statement saying that she believes the institution of marriage is a failed one and that, perhaps, a new model for relationships is in the future. "Things are changing so much. Especially [in] this country, we have kind of failed with marriage," said Jones. "We're so protective of this really sacred but failed institution. There's got to be a new model. I don't know what it is, but maybe it's like ten years with a lease to buy or rent to own."

She might have a point here. I do believe marriage is a very sacred institution, but here in America we have begun to devalue its worth. Divorce rates are at an all-time high. According to Enrichment Journal on the Divorce Rates in America, the divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%; the divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%; the divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%. Prenuptial agreements are being signed by people of any and every economic status. People find future-spouses on reality TV shows, but few people expect their relationships to actually succeed. Media focus tends to stay on the unfaithful, drama-filled, and failure-ridden relationships. Rarely does a story come from the existing positive examples of marriage.

It’s no secret that marriage takes work. Life is not all bunnies and butterflies. There are times in every relationship when the going gets tough. Those are the times when couples who are serious about their marriage take it to the next level and make it work. Luke and Donna, my grandparents, were married in 1952. They had four children, owned their own business, and were well-known and well-liked in their community. They were married for 53 years before Luke passed away. Donna has said that her marriage wasn’t always easy; and it certainly was never perfect. They entered into marriage knowing the seriousness of their love and vows, ‘Til death do us part. Through war, sickness, losing a business, financial struggles, death of family members, and numerous other trials that come with life, Luke and Donna knew that giving up was not an option. Their children continue that legacy of love in their own marriages. Many of their grandchildren have followed suit, as well. Their marriage is a shining example to all those who witnessed it that the institution of marriage is so much more than meets the eye and worth every bit of effort it takes!

In today’s society, so much emphasis is put on the wedding itself. Focus is on the dress, the flowers, the music, the venue… Think about the time, energy, and resources spent on The Big Day, leaving the rest of the new couple’s life together just waiting in the wings. Imagine if the same amount of attention were given to the marriage itself! I wonder if the statistics would change. I wonder if people would be less afraid of the work it takes to have a successful marriage. I wonder if the “institution of marriage” would be less of a “failure” in our society.

Research has shown that married people report more overall satisfaction and contentment with their lives. Married people enjoy more satisfaction in their sex lives than other couples, whether cohabitating or simply dating. This isn’t meant to suggest that marriage will cure all of our problems or meet all of our needs, but marriage is definitely an institution that has value!

I am not married, but I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by many great examples of marriages that are not failing, and that are, in fact, succeeding! I know that if I ever find myself considering marriage with a potential spouse, I can go into that decision knowing that it is not something to be taken lightly. I can see that marriage takes a lot of work, and I can also see that the benefits of that are well worth it!

I don’t believe marriage needs a new model. Instead, the mindset for marriage should be honored, respected, and entered into seriously. If more emphasis was given to the positive examples and outcomes of marriage in our world, perhaps the institution wouldn’t be considered such a failure. There are principles we can learn by valuing what marriage involves, as it can serve to teach us what we gain from a lifelong monogamous intimate relationship.

The Power of Words

Whatever you put in comes out. It’s a statement that can be literal or figurative. Think about it: You eat food. What happens a little later in the day? It comes out. You listen to your teacher’s lessons and/or study enough, and the info comes back out on the test. You hear a song on the radio, it gets stuck in your head, and then you sing it because it can’t be helped.

You are told you are stupid, hopeless, and not worth it. If you hear it enough you will believe that is true. You believe it because you have no other truth to cling to. Your behavior starts to reflect the beliefs of others about you. You don’t try to aim high or set goals because you haven’t been given the tools to reach them, anyway. Why even try?

Sound familiar?

Has anyone ever told you something positive about yourself? You are smart, full of potential, and worth every bit of the life you have been given. If you hear it enough you will believe that is true. You believe it because that is the only truth to cling to. You can aim high and so you do. You set goals for your future because you know you have one.

As an adult, teacher, and mentor, I have come to know the power of words and the effects they have on the lives of youth. I am a role model who is looked to as an example by so many people from ages 2-22! I know that what I say to someone can either make a day or completely ruin it. I think about my 2 year old niece Charlotte and how my presence in her life is something she truly desires because I take the time to talk to her, read to her, encourage her, and love her. From the day she was born I have made an effort to tell her she is beautiful and smart and worthy of love. And though she is only two, I can already tell she gets it and believes it.

My friend Tyrell has told me time and time again how much my encouragement has given him strength and courage to chase after the dreams that so many others were quick to put down. He comes from a hometown that does not offer very much hope for young men like him. His family loves him but often has a non-expressive way of showing it. He was led to believe he would never leave his hometown, never have a chance to grow, never be allowed to dream. He could have easily given in to the discouragement he grew up around, but he was given enough hope from positive friends and mentors he chose to surround himself with that he began to believe the truth about himself. He graduated high school and chose to go to a university over a thousand miles away from home. He is well on the road to achieving his goals in a positive future!

What are you telling others to believe about themselves? What are you being told about yourself? It has been said that “words have the power of life and death.” Choose to bring a little bit of life to those around you by using encouraging and positive words. Robert Collier, a motivational author, said it well when he stated, “Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal.”

REST

I wish I could say I wrote this poem, but I certainly did not...It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read, though. I think I would like this read at my funeral someday...

"Rest"

By Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)

O EARTH, lie heavily upon her eyes;

Seal her sweet eyes weary of watching, Earth;

Lie close around her; leave no room for mirth

With its harsh laughter, nor for sound of sighs.

She hath no questions, she hath no replies,

Hush'd in and curtain'd with a blessed dearth

Of all that irk'd her from the hour of birth;

With stillness that is almost Paradise.

Darkness more clear than noonday holdeth her,

Silence more musical than any song;

Even her very heart has ceased to stir:

Until the morning of Eternity

Her rest shall not begin nor end, but be;

And when she wakes she will not think it long.

My Thoughts on Abstinence Education...



Abstinence centered education goes beyond teaching teens the physical aspect of human sexuality. Accurate abstinence centered education teaches teens the healthy way to have relationships by teaching them about the human sex drive, what it is all about, and how it can be managed in a healthy and positive way, without having sex.

Most teens know when adults have low-expectations of them. Why set the bar so low for teens by telling them that adults don’t believe that they have self-control and self-respect? By telling teens that their only logical choice for maintaining “healthy sexuality” is to “protect themselves” with contraceptives, adults are actually telling them, “We don’t trust that you can make healthy decisions for yourself.”

Practicing abstinence doesn’t mean that the human sex drive goes away. Practicing abstinence allows teens to have relationships that are built on trust, self-control, respect, and responsibility. Abstinence is the only 100% effective way to avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. It is also an excellent way to avoid confusing love and lust for teens who are new to falling in love and the emotions they experience.

When it comes to alcohol, drugs, violence, tobacco and all other high risk behaviors we ask teens to say no, why would we even hesitate to take the same approach with sex? It is a fantasy to believe that we can give teens contraceptives and expect them to remain “protected” until they are mature enough to commit to a long-term relationship. The rates of sexually transmitted diseases are extremely high in teens in the US. Giving teens the facts and allowing them to make informed decisions by giving them the information and tools to maintain healthy relationships without having sex is the only fair way to go about promoting health and happiness in their lives.

I know that teaching teens the truth about sex through abstinence centered education does, in fact, do that, because I was one of those teens who practiced abstinence who is now a successful and healthy adult living a full, disease-fee, and happy life. I believe in our youth. I believe they have so much more to live for than sex. Abstinence centered education sets the bar high and gives teens something to reach for.

http://friendsfirstinc.blogspot.com/

Take the Golden Rule and Make it go Platinum!



We hear throughout our lives, “Treat others the way you would like to be treated.” This is usually referred to as The Golden Rule. The idea behind it is to encourage us to consider how we would like to be respected and then respect others accordingly. There is a lot to be said for this “rule” of life. In fact, most of us would not have made it through kindergarten without knowing it!

What if we took this rule to a whole new level? What if we tried to apply a different version of this rule to those around us? What if we took the Golden Rule and made it go Platinum?

The Platinum Rule: “Treat others the way they would like to be treated.” So, what’s the difference? The Golden Rule is “me” centered. How often do we hear about teens being selfish, only caring about their needs first? The Platinum Rule takes us from a self-centered mindset (“How would I like to be treated?”) into a new mindset focused on the other person first (“How would he/she like to be treated?”). Just like the Golden Rule, the Platinum Rule can be applied to any relationship: parents, friends, teachers, siblings, and even the random person on the street!

I would like to challenge you and me to step away from our self-centered perspectives for just a week, try the Platinum Rule, and see how it works. Think about the other person first. Consider how he or she would like to be treated and give it a try. I think we will probably find that the rule will catch on and soon be applied back at us…Think about how that could look in our daily lives!

http://friendsfirstinc.blogspot.com/