Dear Diary,
I have decided I soon want a husband, house, and some babies running around. I am tired of trying to "just get by" and don't want to keep telling myself otherwise. Now, don't get me wrong, Diary. I don't need a husband, house, and babies running around. I'm living life just fine without those things. No...I just want. But here's the thing: wanting something and not seeing any hope of getting it any time soon is just no good. I would like to hope it happens soon. Yesterday, in thinking about weddings, planning with Heather, and watching "The Holiday", I saw little glimmers of hope surface here and there. Sadly, Diary, my hope glimmers got over-shadowed by my reality as soon as I woke up this morning. The trouble is, I don't know what to do about it. In the book The Tale of Despereaux the auther asks, "Reader, do you think it is a terrible thing to hope when there is no reason to hope at all? Or is it something that you might as well do, since, in the end, it really makes no difference to anyone but you?" Diary, I ask you that same question. But I'll take it one step further: Do I have no reason to hope at all? And does it really matter to anyone but me? I wish I could answer those questions with really great responses. I can't. I wish, even more, that you, Diary, could respond to me. You can't. I guess I'll just keep mulling things over, and if I come to a conclusion, I'll let you know.
Thanks for listening, Diary. You're the best! :o)
Love,
Mary<3
Monday, March 23, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Oh, Monday...Sweet Monday...
I turned off my alarm in my sleep this morning, and managed to sleep for another TWO hours. That wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to be to school no later than 7:45...
I usually set my alarm for 5:15 a.m. so that I can hit snooze until about 6:00. Most days, that works just fine for me. In fact, I rarely have trouble being up in time. This morning, however, was different. I woke up and looked at my clock, expecting to see a time prior to 5:15, since I hadn't remembered hearing my alarm. The red numbers glared at me: 7:32. 7:32?!?!?!?! I don't know that I have ever jumped out of bed so fast! I got dressed, let the dog out, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and did my makeup and hair in no less than 11 minutes. I was impressed with myself. :o) This is when living a block away from school comes in handy. I was able to make it to school by 7:45!! It was nothing less than a miracle.
I guess in telling this story I have proved that I actually can get ready quickly. Maybe I shouldn't share this. Now I'm going to be expected to be fast all the time... Ha! Don't count on it. I have always said I work best under pressure. This is a perfect illustration of that! :o)
I usually set my alarm for 5:15 a.m. so that I can hit snooze until about 6:00. Most days, that works just fine for me. In fact, I rarely have trouble being up in time. This morning, however, was different. I woke up and looked at my clock, expecting to see a time prior to 5:15, since I hadn't remembered hearing my alarm. The red numbers glared at me: 7:32. 7:32?!?!?!?! I don't know that I have ever jumped out of bed so fast! I got dressed, let the dog out, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and did my makeup and hair in no less than 11 minutes. I was impressed with myself. :o) This is when living a block away from school comes in handy. I was able to make it to school by 7:45!! It was nothing less than a miracle.
I guess in telling this story I have proved that I actually can get ready quickly. Maybe I shouldn't share this. Now I'm going to be expected to be fast all the time... Ha! Don't count on it. I have always said I work best under pressure. This is a perfect illustration of that! :o)
Monday, March 9, 2009
time warp
This weekend being daylight savings time has thrown me for a loop. It's extremely difficult waking up when the sun isn't even close to rising...It gives one little enjoyment to let the dog out and realize that even the birds are still sleeping.
I got to school today with every intention to change my clock. One of my clocks is a satellite clock that changes itself and matches with the atomic clock in Boulder. It's pretty great to have and extremely accurate clock in my room. My other clock is an older one that has to be changed manually. Usually, I am the only one who looks at the clock, as I use it for keeping track of time when I'm in reading groups. (I can't see the other clock from where I sit...) Like usual, my day began, and I didn't give the clock another thought.
This afternoon I got my kids started in reading groups ever so promptly. I was quite impressed with my own efficiency, if I do say so myself. As we sped along from group to group...Tigers...Pandas...I kept noticing that we were barely approaching 12:00. That didn't seem right. I knew I was spending ample time with each group and should have been taking up more time. Nevertheless, I continued my groups one by one...Zebras...Now it was only 12:35...I began wracking my brain for something extra to do to kill some time before recess at 2:15. For once in a long time, all of my students got their work done, and I had no reason not to find something extra to keep them busy. And besides that, they were all getting restless and rambunctious like any first grader would.....Lions...As my last group began to come to a close, I panicked. It was only 1:00!! How was it possible for me to get so far ahead?!
Then, it hit me like a giant wave full of seaweed and sand: I HADN'T CHANGED MY CLOCK!! I was actually right on schedule and had nothing to fear. My life fast-forwarded a whole hour within a matter of milliseconds; and I hadn't felt that relieved in a very long time...
I got to school today with every intention to change my clock. One of my clocks is a satellite clock that changes itself and matches with the atomic clock in Boulder. It's pretty great to have and extremely accurate clock in my room. My other clock is an older one that has to be changed manually. Usually, I am the only one who looks at the clock, as I use it for keeping track of time when I'm in reading groups. (I can't see the other clock from where I sit...) Like usual, my day began, and I didn't give the clock another thought.
This afternoon I got my kids started in reading groups ever so promptly. I was quite impressed with my own efficiency, if I do say so myself. As we sped along from group to group...Tigers...Pandas...I kept noticing that we were barely approaching 12:00. That didn't seem right. I knew I was spending ample time with each group and should have been taking up more time. Nevertheless, I continued my groups one by one...Zebras...Now it was only 12:35...I began wracking my brain for something extra to do to kill some time before recess at 2:15. For once in a long time, all of my students got their work done, and I had no reason not to find something extra to keep them busy. And besides that, they were all getting restless and rambunctious like any first grader would.....Lions...As my last group began to come to a close, I panicked. It was only 1:00!! How was it possible for me to get so far ahead?!
Then, it hit me like a giant wave full of seaweed and sand: I HADN'T CHANGED MY CLOCK!! I was actually right on schedule and had nothing to fear. My life fast-forwarded a whole hour within a matter of milliseconds; and I hadn't felt that relieved in a very long time...
Monday, March 2, 2009
They weren't kidding when they said...
"OOOOOOOOOK-lahoma, where the wind goes sweeping down the plain!"
I took a road trip with the family this weekend to the lovely panhandle of O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A this weekend to see my brother and his college team play baseball. On this trip, I came up with two very important life-long conclusions: 1) I am pretty sure I am done taking road trips with my family and 2) I am VERY sure I will never, ever, not for any amount of money or fame, move to the Oklahoma panhandle.
Let me explain myself. I love my family and every strange quirk about each one in it. I really do! But this weekend proved to be a lot of ridiculous time together that lead to frustrated parents, a cranky baby, and a lot of boredom... My parents have a communication problem. They constantly assume the other person knows what he or she is thinking or meaning, but 99% of the time they are wrong... This leads to an annoyed dad who doesn't get breakfast and a frustrated mom who is holding her "I-told-you-so" inside because she knows it wouldn't be a wise thing to say at the time...And it leads to two daughters who have their parents figured out down to every detail...It's kind of funny, actually. My parents love each other so much, and I guess that's why they manage to get over their ridiculous communication problems almost as soon as they happen. I am grateful for that. Charlotte took her first long road trip. She did really well on the 7-hour drive to OK. I think she only cried a few times, and that was because she was hungry. Then, she slept really soundly in the hotel on both nights we were there. I was actually quite impressed with that little lady. Emily mom-ed her like a pro, too. Kudos to them both. Really, I feel badly for the kid. By the time we got on the road to head home, Charlotte decided she had had enough of her car seat. She was in no mood to have to sit strapped in and stare at nothing exciting for the next 7+ hours. She made sure to let us know that frequently. Now, you can't hold it against her. In fact, I was commiserating 100% of the time. I didn't want to be there, either. I am happy to report that she and I both made it to our homes with most of our sanity. As for the boredom, leave it to my dad to take the "scenic route" during times when going the fastest way would be prudent. He loves driving and enjoying the geography of our great nation...which is not a good combination for three girls sitting in the back. As interesting as the plains and ghost towns of OK and CO are, once you see one, you've seen them all. And if you haven't seen one, it's nothing lost, really. Trust me on this one. I saw enough for you and me... Emily and I had to resort to quoting our favorite speech of the Academy Awards: "Sank you, my mother. Sank you, my friends. Sank you, animation. Sank you, Academy. Domo origato, Mr. Roboto." We said that a lot. That's how bored we were. But that was just on the drive home... You know how bored you are reading this? Yep. That's about where were were, too. :o)
As for the Oklahoma panhandle...It was so windy there, I was pretty sure the state would just pick up and blow all the way to the Gulf of Mexico! It was the coldest wind I have felt in a long time, too. Really, there is not much good to be said about the OK panhandle, in my opinion. I guess I can say, drunk cowboys named Ty Young have pretty teeth...
I did read a great book on the trip. I highly recommend Drowning Ruth by Christina Schwarz and not just because Oprah agrees. It kept my attention the whole time. It was beautifully written in both first and third person. Good book. Read it.
I'll put up pictures of my amazing trip ASAP. I promise, those are actually pretty fun to see. :o)
I took a road trip with the family this weekend to the lovely panhandle of O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A this weekend to see my brother and his college team play baseball. On this trip, I came up with two very important life-long conclusions: 1) I am pretty sure I am done taking road trips with my family and 2) I am VERY sure I will never, ever, not for any amount of money or fame, move to the Oklahoma panhandle.
Let me explain myself. I love my family and every strange quirk about each one in it. I really do! But this weekend proved to be a lot of ridiculous time together that lead to frustrated parents, a cranky baby, and a lot of boredom... My parents have a communication problem. They constantly assume the other person knows what he or she is thinking or meaning, but 99% of the time they are wrong... This leads to an annoyed dad who doesn't get breakfast and a frustrated mom who is holding her "I-told-you-so" inside because she knows it wouldn't be a wise thing to say at the time...And it leads to two daughters who have their parents figured out down to every detail...It's kind of funny, actually. My parents love each other so much, and I guess that's why they manage to get over their ridiculous communication problems almost as soon as they happen. I am grateful for that. Charlotte took her first long road trip. She did really well on the 7-hour drive to OK. I think she only cried a few times, and that was because she was hungry. Then, she slept really soundly in the hotel on both nights we were there. I was actually quite impressed with that little lady. Emily mom-ed her like a pro, too. Kudos to them both. Really, I feel badly for the kid. By the time we got on the road to head home, Charlotte decided she had had enough of her car seat. She was in no mood to have to sit strapped in and stare at nothing exciting for the next 7+ hours. She made sure to let us know that frequently. Now, you can't hold it against her. In fact, I was commiserating 100% of the time. I didn't want to be there, either. I am happy to report that she and I both made it to our homes with most of our sanity. As for the boredom, leave it to my dad to take the "scenic route" during times when going the fastest way would be prudent. He loves driving and enjoying the geography of our great nation...which is not a good combination for three girls sitting in the back. As interesting as the plains and ghost towns of OK and CO are, once you see one, you've seen them all. And if you haven't seen one, it's nothing lost, really. Trust me on this one. I saw enough for you and me... Emily and I had to resort to quoting our favorite speech of the Academy Awards: "Sank you, my mother. Sank you, my friends. Sank you, animation. Sank you, Academy. Domo origato, Mr. Roboto." We said that a lot. That's how bored we were. But that was just on the drive home... You know how bored you are reading this? Yep. That's about where were were, too. :o)
As for the Oklahoma panhandle...It was so windy there, I was pretty sure the state would just pick up and blow all the way to the Gulf of Mexico! It was the coldest wind I have felt in a long time, too. Really, there is not much good to be said about the OK panhandle, in my opinion. I guess I can say, drunk cowboys named Ty Young have pretty teeth...
I did read a great book on the trip. I highly recommend Drowning Ruth by Christina Schwarz and not just because Oprah agrees. It kept my attention the whole time. It was beautifully written in both first and third person. Good book. Read it.
I'll put up pictures of my amazing trip ASAP. I promise, those are actually pretty fun to see. :o)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
In regards to American Idol
I am so grateful Tatiana didn't make it through...yet... I'm sure we haven't seen the last of the drama that she brings, but for now I am happy.
I think the three who made it were the only real worthy people from the first round of 12. I'm totally a fan of Danny and Alexis. I can't wait to watch them get better as they go!
I really did just write a blog about American Idol. I feel as though this won't be the last one, either... Is that ridiculous, or what?
I think the three who made it were the only real worthy people from the first round of 12. I'm totally a fan of Danny and Alexis. I can't wait to watch them get better as they go!
I really did just write a blog about American Idol. I feel as though this won't be the last one, either... Is that ridiculous, or what?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Stream of Consciousness...
I haven't posted a new blog in a while. I have wanted to write for a few days now, but I haven't had a moment to do so. Not having accessible Internet at home makes it difficult, because I am limited to writing at school. Since I have a room full of 7 year olds who demand 100% of my attention 99.78% of the time, I don't usually have much availability in my schedule to write during the day. And when school is over, the last thing I want to do is remain in my room for longer than I must. But today is different. I am staying after school to blog because I have only been in my classroom for approximately and hour of the day. I'm willing to hang out and write a little bit... Aren't you so glad?!
Today my class took a field trip to the Downtown Aquarium. I had 10 parent volunteers and 12 out of 13 students go (poor Isabelle was sick...), which made my day so stress-free it wasn't even funny! I got to ride to the aquarium with one of my favorite moms. She is one of those parents who waited until she was older to have kids. She works for a national drug company and basically lobbies for it all over the country. She is quite relaxed, has a wonderful sense of humor, and understands that I am a poor, single, teacher. She treats me as a friend and never ceases to show me how much she and her family appreciate me. That, for one, made my day spectacular. I explored the aquarium with her, her daughter Julia, and my little favorite (don't tell anyone I said that!!) Izzy. Honestly, if I could have a daughter like Izzy someday, I would be so very happy! She is so friendly, kind, intelligent, patient, well-behaved, inquisitive, funny, and all-around lovely. Plus, she held my hand through the shark exhibit part. That made me feel much better about being around those horrible creatures...
I think Izzy thought I was kidding about being afraid of sharks. I sure wasn't... I'm just glad the aquarium doesn't have any sick ones like great whites. They only have nurse sharks (which aren't so bad) and some other yucky giant ones with bad teeth. Really, what scares me more than sharks, I have come to realize, is the deep, deep water they have to live in. I am starting to feel a bit panicked just thinking about it! I would not make a good deep-sea diver. I think I could snorkel in very clear, shallow, bright, clean water. But anything beyond that is not for me... In fact, I learned some amazing things about coral and reefs and the life that lives therein, and I think I would really like to explore a coral reef someday. I would also like to have a sting ray for a pet. The aquarium has a big pool of different kinds of rays that people can feed and touch. I am pretty sure those are some of the most incredible creatures ever created!! They just glide through that water so effortlessly! Their mouths are incredible things that suck the fishies right out of the feeder's fingers. They are so soft and a little bit slimy. A little yellow one and I made fast friends. I would totally swim with rays... They might even be cooler than dolphins, I'm pretty sure.
Since this blog is titled "Stream of Consciousness", I must continue being random and write whatever else comes to mind. It's kind of liberating, actually. I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head all day. I never said they were interesting...well, sometimes they are...at least to me...though I would agree that none of them are really note worthy. You can stop reading now if you haven't already. I might, if I weren't the writer. Of course, maybe I wouldn't...I am one of those people who love to snoop. Jenn's coworker Meredeth and I are "voyeurs". We like to stick our noses in other people's lives, regardless of how lame they might be... Told you I was random.........
Oh man! I love American Idol!!! I'm pretty excited about this season finally getting underway as far as the performances go. I don't have any particular favorites yet. I don't start voting until the final 12 are selected. I figure, by then the people who actually have a chance at winning are there for a while. Why grow attached to someone before they are actually in it to win it? I don't even know what each one is capable of, so I can't pick just one just yet. All I know is that the stupid Puerto Rican girl Tatiana needs to not be around anymore. She is insane. I have a feeling the producers are going to make an executive decision and keep her somehow, but I don't think that's a good idea. She can sing, but her personality is all over the map. When she's crazy, she's REALLY crazy. When she's demure, she's too boring and even snobbish. And what's with that stupid accent that comes around only when she is reminded of being Puerto Rican? Lame. Anyway, I don't really know her, so I shouldn't be so mean. All that aside, American Idol Season 8 is going to be fabulous! I am looking forward to every episode!
I think I need to go home now. I told a mom of a student from last year that I'd watch her daughter for a couple of hours tonight...and I need to get some grading done before I go. Ugh. Back to reality...It was quite fun letting my mind go for a few minutes. Maybe I should do this more often...
Last random thought for the day: I miss my brother. I want to go to Texas and visit for a few reasons, Mike being only one (and the most important!!). Maybe I'll write about another reason for going another day. I have to figure out exactly what it is I'm thinking and why I'm thinking it before I make it any more public than to Jenn once in a while.
Love,
me<3
Today my class took a field trip to the Downtown Aquarium. I had 10 parent volunteers and 12 out of 13 students go (poor Isabelle was sick...), which made my day so stress-free it wasn't even funny! I got to ride to the aquarium with one of my favorite moms. She is one of those parents who waited until she was older to have kids. She works for a national drug company and basically lobbies for it all over the country. She is quite relaxed, has a wonderful sense of humor, and understands that I am a poor, single, teacher. She treats me as a friend and never ceases to show me how much she and her family appreciate me. That, for one, made my day spectacular. I explored the aquarium with her, her daughter Julia, and my little favorite (don't tell anyone I said that!!) Izzy. Honestly, if I could have a daughter like Izzy someday, I would be so very happy! She is so friendly, kind, intelligent, patient, well-behaved, inquisitive, funny, and all-around lovely. Plus, she held my hand through the shark exhibit part. That made me feel much better about being around those horrible creatures...
I think Izzy thought I was kidding about being afraid of sharks. I sure wasn't... I'm just glad the aquarium doesn't have any sick ones like great whites. They only have nurse sharks (which aren't so bad) and some other yucky giant ones with bad teeth. Really, what scares me more than sharks, I have come to realize, is the deep, deep water they have to live in. I am starting to feel a bit panicked just thinking about it! I would not make a good deep-sea diver. I think I could snorkel in very clear, shallow, bright, clean water. But anything beyond that is not for me... In fact, I learned some amazing things about coral and reefs and the life that lives therein, and I think I would really like to explore a coral reef someday. I would also like to have a sting ray for a pet. The aquarium has a big pool of different kinds of rays that people can feed and touch. I am pretty sure those are some of the most incredible creatures ever created!! They just glide through that water so effortlessly! Their mouths are incredible things that suck the fishies right out of the feeder's fingers. They are so soft and a little bit slimy. A little yellow one and I made fast friends. I would totally swim with rays... They might even be cooler than dolphins, I'm pretty sure.
Since this blog is titled "Stream of Consciousness", I must continue being random and write whatever else comes to mind. It's kind of liberating, actually. I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head all day. I never said they were interesting...well, sometimes they are...at least to me...though I would agree that none of them are really note worthy. You can stop reading now if you haven't already. I might, if I weren't the writer. Of course, maybe I wouldn't...I am one of those people who love to snoop. Jenn's coworker Meredeth and I are "voyeurs". We like to stick our noses in other people's lives, regardless of how lame they might be... Told you I was random.........
Oh man! I love American Idol!!! I'm pretty excited about this season finally getting underway as far as the performances go. I don't have any particular favorites yet. I don't start voting until the final 12 are selected. I figure, by then the people who actually have a chance at winning are there for a while. Why grow attached to someone before they are actually in it to win it? I don't even know what each one is capable of, so I can't pick just one just yet. All I know is that the stupid Puerto Rican girl Tatiana needs to not be around anymore. She is insane. I have a feeling the producers are going to make an executive decision and keep her somehow, but I don't think that's a good idea. She can sing, but her personality is all over the map. When she's crazy, she's REALLY crazy. When she's demure, she's too boring and even snobbish. And what's with that stupid accent that comes around only when she is reminded of being Puerto Rican? Lame. Anyway, I don't really know her, so I shouldn't be so mean. All that aside, American Idol Season 8 is going to be fabulous! I am looking forward to every episode!
I think I need to go home now. I told a mom of a student from last year that I'd watch her daughter for a couple of hours tonight...and I need to get some grading done before I go. Ugh. Back to reality...It was quite fun letting my mind go for a few minutes. Maybe I should do this more often...
Last random thought for the day: I miss my brother. I want to go to Texas and visit for a few reasons, Mike being only one (and the most important!!). Maybe I'll write about another reason for going another day. I have to figure out exactly what it is I'm thinking and why I'm thinking it before I make it any more public than to Jenn once in a while.
Love,
me<3
Monday, February 9, 2009
Southern Gospel Revival
For the past week and a half we haven't had our cable channels. We do, however, get channels 2-13 (minus channel 8). On weekends, it is said that there is never much good to watch on network TV. Interestingly enough, there are some interesting things to watch on the local channel. As the roomies and I were flipping though our 11 channels for the umpteeth time on Friday night, we landed on what appeared to be an old church service from a local community church.
This wasn't just any service, though. This was an all-out Southern Gospel Revival Music style service, fully equipped with a choir, band, and singing preacher. (The irony of it all was that there was perhaps one non-white person in the whole group...and she was Latina! Anyway, I digress...) For no good reason, we decided to keep the service on, and I was so glad we did!! There was a sing-along part of the service...and sing along Jenn and I did (much to Jennie's dismay...)!!!
Hymns are wonderful things, because even if you don't know exactly how the tune goes, it's not very hard to figure out. I didn't know but one single hymn they sang, but I did my darndest to sing as jubilantly as I could...."I'll fly away, O Glory! I'll fly away! Some bright morning when this life is over, I'll fly away!!!" That song stuck in my head all night and into Saturday...Which made breaking out into song so much harder to resist (again, much to Jennie's dismay...)!!
Then, on Saturday night, we had the same TV problem. There was nothing worth watching on. Until... we were flipping through our channels, and what should we find but that same service again!!! It was time for another old fashioned sing-along!! Boy oh boy...what a good time we had... I'm not even being sarcastic!!
And now, that song is still stuck in my head...and might be for all eternity. That's OK, though. The memories that will forever go with it are totally worth it.
Whoever said there was nothing on TV on the weekends has obviously never watched our local channel at 9:00 on Friday and Saturday night. I can't wait til next weekend! I can't imagine the entertainment getting any better... :o)
This wasn't just any service, though. This was an all-out Southern Gospel Revival Music style service, fully equipped with a choir, band, and singing preacher. (The irony of it all was that there was perhaps one non-white person in the whole group...and she was Latina! Anyway, I digress...) For no good reason, we decided to keep the service on, and I was so glad we did!! There was a sing-along part of the service...and sing along Jenn and I did (much to Jennie's dismay...)!!!
Hymns are wonderful things, because even if you don't know exactly how the tune goes, it's not very hard to figure out. I didn't know but one single hymn they sang, but I did my darndest to sing as jubilantly as I could...."I'll fly away, O Glory! I'll fly away! Some bright morning when this life is over, I'll fly away!!!" That song stuck in my head all night and into Saturday...Which made breaking out into song so much harder to resist (again, much to Jennie's dismay...)!!
Then, on Saturday night, we had the same TV problem. There was nothing worth watching on. Until... we were flipping through our channels, and what should we find but that same service again!!! It was time for another old fashioned sing-along!! Boy oh boy...what a good time we had... I'm not even being sarcastic!!
And now, that song is still stuck in my head...and might be for all eternity. That's OK, though. The memories that will forever go with it are totally worth it.
Whoever said there was nothing on TV on the weekends has obviously never watched our local channel at 9:00 on Friday and Saturday night. I can't wait til next weekend! I can't imagine the entertainment getting any better... :o)
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